hits and/or misses

well, it's that special time of the year when some very lucky people get luckier, while some other lucky people end up on a shitty show that's begging to be cancelled. that's right, it's the beginning of the latest tv season. while not every new show has premiered yet, leanne and i thought we'd share our preliminary picks of the shows that will flop or top. so here are my picks. lets start with...

you should've been aborted

of everything i've seen or read about so far, you'd think cavemen would be at the top of my list. and sure, this coming week, it might be. but right now, i'm going to have to go with the big bang theory. oh. my. damn. who's bright fucking idea was this show, anyway? oh, right, the fuckhead that came up with two and a half men.

for those who are lucky enough to have not seen or heard about this show, the premise is a "hot", stupid blonde moves in next door to two uber-nerds. awkwardness (and laugh tracks) ensues. the first episode was just waaaaaaaaay too much. ok, we get it, the guys are nerdy geniuses who don't get laid. do you also have to hit us with klingon boggle, watching battlestar galactica dvds with commentary, and all the math and science talk? and you, mister johnny galecki, why are you attempting to give your voice a nassley tone? stop it! and, merciful zeus, i wanted to strangle kaley cuoco throughout the whole episode. what? you work at the cheesecake factory? well, i wouldn't have guessed it since you mention it in every other fucking line you say! bitch.

overall, none of the characters are likeable. the plot? what plot? no plot here, just nerd jokes blended in with dumb blonde jokes with a side of why am i watching this.

the one redeeming value of the show: the periodic table shower curtain. need to get me one of those.

yeah. this show needs to go. now.

there are a few other shows, however, vying for my hatred and their eventual cancellation. those would be viva laughlin, cavemen, and aliens in america. more on those once they actually premire. now, let's move on to...

you can rape me with truffle oil any time you want

i heart gossip girl. it's like heathers, cruel intentions, dynasty and the o.c. wrapped in $600 worth of bacon and avocado.

the show, brought to tv by josh schwartz, is loosely based on a young adult book series and revolves around a group of "teens" that attend a very posh private school in NYC (where apparently they learn more about drinking, drugs, reading blogs, and doing your best friend's boyfriend then they do about, oh, let's say history). it has all the guilty pleasureness to it that the first season of the o.c. had. it's getting lots of attention over at gawker, and it's got melrose cred with cast member kelly rutherford (you know, the hooker bree hired to fuck and fall in love with her husband when she found out she had a brain tumor and was going to die?).

also, penn badgley, who plays lonely boy dan, is delicious. can there please be sex, or at least scantily clad, scenes of him in the future? please?

the only problem i really have with the show is kristen bell's narration. while her playful, almost sex phone operator tone is perfect for the show, i keep on expecting her to start talking about a case or a stakeout or something private detectivey. (i miss veronica mars.) the only thing that could make me love this show more would be some unknowing high society incest, because nothing says high society like having sex with the half-sibling you didn't know was your half-sibling.

how best to sum up the show? oh, probably with this line from the fashion designer parent on the show: "you will never be more beautiful, thin, or happy as you are right now."

yup. other contenders for shows that will more than likely succeed this season: chuck (because even though i don't like it, nbc is really pushing it, and it has the whole josh schwartz thing going for it), cane (because it's the most cbs show of all of that network's new shows), and pushing daisies (although it's over-promotion as being great might work against it).

ok, that's all from me. leanne's picks are next.